Monday, April 23, 2012

One Year

Today was a pretty hard day.

One year ago today, 23 April of 2011, I wrestled my last match.

I didn't know at the time that it was going to be the last time I would perform. It was nothing how I envisioned my last match being. I didn't get hurt in the match. At the time I was actually a bit disapointed in the match, because it seemed a little off-jolted, and I knew I could do a better job.

I had just started wrestling in the Chicago area for Carlos Robles' GALLI promotion, which is a traditional, authentic lucha libre promotion. My girlfriend had family in the Chicago area, so working for GALLI was a great excuse to visit family, kick back a few Old Styles, and work further towards my goal of getting work in Mexico. I had made a few solid lucha contacts, and I was very excited for what was on the horizon.

The following week, the last weekend of April, I actually had an off weekend. I spent some quality time with Shannon, and was ready to get back into action the following weekend.

Then, I was injured at work. A lot of things transpired between the incident and now - one year later. I know now that I have degenerative arthritis in my neck and shoulders. Due to the incident, I have bone-in-bone contact in my shoulder.

I can no longer workout in the gym like I used to, because I can no longer put pressure on my shoulder joint. No bench presses, no shoulder presses, no pullups. I have trouble sleeping at night, because I lose circulation in my arm and my shoulder locks up if I lay certain ways too long.

To put things mildly, I have been fighting to get proper treatment. The injury happened at work, so it is a Worker's Comp issue, and dealing with that bureaucracy sucks. Maybe I would have been able to come back if I were able to get the proper surgery and treatments; unfortunately I cannot, and that is not going to change.

Unfortunately, my body just cannot take it anymore. I no longer am able to be a beast in the gym, a training madman. I cannot stay in condition, I cannot take bumps. It is reality.

The thing that hurts the worst though, is not being able to go out how I wanted. I wasn't able to have a "final match". I wasn't able to go out on a big show with a "big match" atmosphere. I wasn't able to hook it up one last time with one of my biggest rivals. I wasn't able to square off with one of my students. I wasn't able to go out in front of fans that supported me for years, and that I had a connection with. I wasn't able to say goodbye to friends, and the boys. That was taken from me.

Instead, I went out in a mid-card tag match squaring off against a couple of rookies in a town that I was just starting to make a name in.

So, today I am very meloncholly and bitter. Today is a reminder that I put so much sacrifice and work into something that I will no longer be able to do.

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